Page 3 - Status Check: May 2025
(Music fades in)
Oh hi! I’m MJ Bailey, and I write things. Sometimes. It doesn’t mean I always know what to write, but hey, we’ll get there. I guess.
(Music fades out and new music fades in)
(Sigh.) Okay, but I actually am writing and editing things. It doesn’t always feel like it, but I am. So let me take this chance to do a quick status check on the various projects on my desk.
First, there’s this podcast. I think I gave myself so much freedom that it has to be going well. I mean, I’m struggling to conceptualize what it would mean for this podcast to not be going well. There’s no clear metric. Nothing has caught on fire. And I’m not getting a slew of hate mail. Australia hasn’t given me an influx of 1 star reviews, if you know you know, but that was actually a joke and nothing against the nation of Australia. This episode will be the first real challenge because I didn’t plan it in advance. I was sitting at my desk at work and thought to myself, “Should I be talking about the things I am currently doing in a podcast about the act of doing?” And that idea made sense, so on my lunch break I started frantically typing out this script, and then I typed more later. Etc. Etc.
Maybe this needs to be a monthly update? A series within this podcast? But is that just going to make me feel insecure of what I’m not doing? I mean it already doesn’t feel like enough. Or I can tell myself it isn’t enough.
On that note, I’ve tried to keep a daily log of the things I actually get done, so that I can’t lay in bed at night forcing my eyes open trying to delay sleep just to get one more thing done, and that thing would be a grand chastisement for how unproductive I am. That’s not a great use of my time. Sleep is so much more useful and fun, so the log is supposed to prevent that. And it kind of does? But now I’m competing with myself to see how many items I can get done in a day. Can I take up three pages in a week? Last week, it was two, but there was one week when I felt really good, and it was four pages. That week was several months ago, but I’m still chasing that very specific high.
The point is, will this update series be a repackaging of an old problem or is this going to be a reminder of all the progress I’ve made? I want to be optimistic that I can make the most of this opportunity, but at the very least, I like the idea of looking back, of keeping track of the progress I’ve made, if only so I don’t forget about projects or books or short stories or something I really want to work on.
In any event, I can stop the series if I end up hating it or fueling my anxiety disorder. So it is worth a shot. And it gives me more content for this feed, so I won’t need to worry about neglecting it.
(Music fades out and new music fades in)
But back to The Writer’s Open Book. I have a few more episode ideas planned out and the intense pressure to fill this feed because I love it when a show has a backlog of content that I can catch up with. Not everyone does, though. I need to remember that. There’s no one universally loved way to handle content releases when you first start a project, so I just need to do what feels right for me and this show.
The next podcast I want to release: a sleepy time podcast of me reading public domain books. I have the logo done, and I’ve got a basic design. I just need to finish all the sound files.
The point of these podcasts is to have background noise to help someone sleep at night, so the more content I can make to fill those 8 hours a night, the better. In theory. There are other shows out there. I use a lot of them, so while I think it is very important for me to give back, but I don’t need to race through it. Stop, breath, and rest.
I have a strategy, though. I’m going to record public domain books, which will also help me work on my audiobook narration skills, which should help me release more books because part of the hold up in the process has this accessibility feature.
Yes, audiobooks count as reading. I’m going to shelve that debate right now, but it’s a form of reading that is within reach of some people that print books exclude. That includes those who struggle to see, read, or find time to do any of the above. And so, I feel that pressure to make audiobooks. But I also want to pay the people who help me, and given that my first two books are incredibly long, those are hefty bills I can’t afford right now.
But I did commission a friend to do the Danger of the Light audiobook. She has the talent but not the portfolio. I have no expectation that she’ll prioritize the audiobook over something that actually pays her well or her general life. But it’s in motion. That’s a win. Check that off on the list.
The next book I’m working on will be one that I’m calling The Oracle of Death in my notes, but that’s not the final title. It’s not as long as the other two, but I wrote it live on Twitch across five days nonstop, so it definitely needed a lot of editing and cleaning. And because of those edits, I couldn’t get the cover commissioned before now. I needed to have a strong sense of the number of pages before I can make that commission so the artist would know what the spine of the book will be in terms of height or length or whatever the term is. I think I’m in the final stretch of edits, and because I don’t have the patience for a preorder period, I guess we’re going as live as possible in June.
The next book on deck is another Merene Ash release. It’s a story that questions our relationship with Tarot and being comfortable in our current situation. An aspiring writer chasing their dreams gets a reading that would technically be considered mixed messages. A dream career is coming, but it will come with a soul mate. Problem is, our intrepid hero is already in a relationship.
Other projects. Aishi Online is still in its current season. I know I threw myself a curveball by making this such a long season, but I think that’s what the show needs right now.
The Oracle of Dusk next season is still in development. I’ve reworked the season’s trajectory no less than four times… But each time I feel like it’s getting better, so they are necessary edits and adjustments.
Temporal Light is in a similar situation. I always had a vague sense of where the story needed to go, but as I grow and live life, I realize that the story has to be more complicated. Or it can and maybe should be more complicated as more emotions come to the surface. Temporal Light could be a straightforward adventure, but given the medium and the freedom afforded to me, I want to push the boundaries a bit. That’s kind of my thing, I guess. But I’m hoping to have the next season together by the end of the summer. Currently, I’m reviewing all my notes on the show’s arc and trying to integrate this new perspective I have on life and family and work, etc.
(Music fades out and new music fades in)
One of the things I’ve been somewhat nervous about as I release things is whether or not I’ll be able to stand behind them in ten or twenty years. And this is because I’ve already been burned once. It wasn’t a deep burn because I never formally released this project, but I once wrote a novel inspired specifically by the soundtrack to Next to Normal. I was in high school at the time. Between my age and just the general lack of context of what those songs were trying to do in the larger picture, I came up with a remarkably negative interpretation of the show’s message. Namely, that it was saying to be skeptical of all psychological and psychiatric intervention, which is not the point of the show. Next to Normal does touch on some of the ethical implications of medical treatment, but the context is that the mentally ill mother is in a marriage with someone who refuses to admit that she has real hurt and pain, trying to look past reality in favor of a pseudo-normalcy. It criticizes the urge to purge the humanity within, despite all the negative emotions within. Not the fact that some of us need more help than others.
So yeah, it would be absolutely irresponsible to release that book, and I’m glad I destroyed the only existing copy. Believe me, there was no saving it. And I’m glad I came to my senses before anyone took some really bad advice.
The consequences are more obvious in this example, but bad advice is bad advice. Except I don’t always know what bad advice is because I’m learning and growing with everyone.
So yeah, sometimes, it feels like there a lot of pressure on me, not just to be productive, but to be right all the time and for all time. Because there is power in having a platform, no matter the size. But power and responsibility aren’t really compatible with my anxiety and panic disorders.
But with that, I’m MJ Bailey, and I’m a writer, I guess. Whatever that means.
(Music fades out and new music fades in)
The Writer’s Open Book is a podcast from Miscellany Media Studios. It is written, edited, and produced by MJ Bailey with music from the Sounds like an Earful music supply. The logo was made by Keldor777 on Twitch. And to the Queen of Cups in my life, you know who you are, thank you for helping me process so much of this writing journey and for all the support. I couldn’t have done it without you.